on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
