If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Randomize
