OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
