i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
