bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Found your dick twin last night
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
