I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
