After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
