Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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