He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
