All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
