you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
