So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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