We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
my sisters under your porch take her home
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
