Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
