girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
