Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
