um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
