ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
