dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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