I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
