at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
