I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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