I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize