new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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