I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
