I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
nutella sex= disaster
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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