Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
me + whiskey = a bad person
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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