so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
