I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
