It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
