Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
