Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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