I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize
