we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
