it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
