If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
