If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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