ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
