apparently the secret to your success is patron
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
