your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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