i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
