plz talk dirty to me
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
