p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
