I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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