please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
