I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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