3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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