Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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