gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
