There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
