Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
