I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
