he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
