so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh god the rape fog is back!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dignity is for republicans.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
